19:53 confusions

Why can't I stay positive and enthusiastic all the time? There is always something there, always something to pull me down. I don't wanna go down, I wanna... emerge.
I'm so pleased with myself and what I do and on the next day, I feel so unsatisfied, like I'm not doing anything useful, I'm not being creative, I don't draw enough, I don't read enough...
Uhh. I don't even know.